Wednesday, June 21, 2006

Ten Bucks Says Somebody Might Actually Do This

I was all ready to write a post today commenting on Barry Eisler's remarks that in order to write a book, you have to turn off the television. I disagreed with Barry...but that post is for another time. Something far more important has come up. Something of such pressing importance that I had to shelve that post idea and write about it.

Every morning I sift through the newspapers (New York Times, New York Daily News, New York Post, USA Today), and this morning something horrifying made my breath catch and my heart skip a beat.

This couldn't be true, could it?

Paris Hilton, famous for...um...er...yeah...anyway, Paris Hilton is about to hit the Billboard charts with her first single. Hey Kevin Federline, you might have a career after all.

I heard a bit of Paris's single this weekend. But I couldn't tell if it was good or not, because I'm pretty sure the hand of Lucifer was clawing at my brain through the airwaves and distracting me.

But then it hit me. If something like that could take someone like Paris Hilton, give her a hit television series, get her on the cover of Vanity Fair, and give her a successful recording career...why couldn't it work for someone else? I had an epiphany, a BRILLIANT marketing ploy that will surely rocket one lucky author's career to the stratosphere. Don't thank me now, but I do expect a cut of the royalties. Here's what I suggest:

Two midlist authors, a man and woman whose sales have been steady but never really taken off after several books, who've been the recipient of a strong marketing push that never took hold, who don't necessarily have to be photogenic in the least, must get together and, right before their respective books come out, release a sex tape.

How could they not hit the bestseller list?

Ok, I'm partially joking...but not really. Do you think for one second that thing wouldn't get passed around YouTube faster than "Lazy Sunday?" Do you think for one second that Howard Stern wouldn't play that thing more often than Z100 plays that new Nelly Furtado song? Do you really think it wouldn't get mainstream media attention and rocket both authors up the charts, and set their backlist on fire?

They could even take it a step further, maybe spread manuscript pages all over the bed, and call each other by the names of their famous characters (Oh, Harry Bosch!).

Laugh all you want, this is marketing gold. I predict that in five years publishers will start listing this on ARCs next to the other publicity plans.
  • Advertising in the New York Times and TIME
  • Major media campaign
  • Radio Interviews
  • Viral Marketing
  • Dimly-lit Sex Tape made with Green Nite Vision Goggles

Now that's thinking outside the box.

On another note, make sure to check out Sandra Ruttan's post over at the Killer Year Blog.

10 Comments:

Blogger JT Ellison said...

I think this might just catch on!

10:06 AM  
Blogger Rob Gregory Browne said...

You're a little behind, Jason. I've already got one in the works. But I had to use a body double.

12:21 PM  
Blogger Brett Battles said...

You're sick, Jason. Really, really sick....

...and brilliant! I like the way your mind thinks!

12:22 PM  
Blogger Sandra Ruttan said...

Gee Jason, will a group sex tape for Killer Year secure our bid for World Domination?

2:48 PM  
Blogger Jason said...

Well it certainly wouldn't endear me to my fiancee, so I have to insist you go ahead and film it sans one member.

3:00 PM  
Blogger Bill Cameron said...

When you figure it'll be filmed through those green night vision goggles, will she really be able to say definitively that it is you?

3:45 PM  
Blogger Jason said...

Let's just say I'd much rather her not have to worry at all. I may have a weird sense of humor, but I'm a faithful guy.

But if the rest of the Class of '07 wants to do it, I'll help spring for engraved goggles.

3:49 PM  
Blogger Bill Cameron said...

Well, I just read your post aloud to my wife, and she laughed and laughed and laughed. Then I said, "So I'm thinking that I could..."

"Stop thinking right there, bub," she interrupted.

Hrmm. She's not laughing anymore either.

3:55 PM  
Blogger Bernita said...

"Sans one member"
Do you wish to rephrase that line?

9:17 AM  
Blogger Elizabeth said...

So this is what writers are doing these days!

10:44 AM  

Post a Comment

Subscribe to Post Comments [Atom]

<< Home