Look into my eyes...
While speaking at a library over the weekend, I came upon...this. Now, perhaps I am not exactly the demographic that can be persuaded to read a book by a sultry-looking Orlando Bloom...but is this not the most ridiculous thing you've ever seen? It's not as if celebrities advertising reading is a bad thing (just across the room was a poster featuring Robert Pattinson and Kristen Stewart reading a copy of TWILIGHT while looking like they're actually enjoying it. Yes, they were reading it. Not clutching it like Linus with his blanket). So why is this ridiculous? Let's go step-by-step:
1) Orlando does not look like he shows any interest in reading. In fact, he seems to be saying, "Let me take that silly book from you so we can snuggle."
2) What kind of book is he holding? Some sort of bible from the middle ages? I think he's trying to channel Ron Burgundy: "I am Orlando Bloom...I own many leather-bound books, and my apartment smells of rich mahogany."
3) Who does this appeal to? Teenage boys? Nope. Older men? Uh-uh (at least I hope not). Older women? Come on, they're into Hugh Jackman. Teenage girls? Ick. Orlando is 32. That's entering creepyhood.
4) Orlando is clutching that book so tightly it's as if he wants to do everything in his sharp-cheekboned power to prevent you from reading. "Oh, you want this book? You know where I have lots of books? In my bedroom (wink, wink)."
5) "Orlando Bloom @ your library"--is that a threat?