Speaking in Tongues
People in the media tend to speak very differently than everyone else. Especially people in publishing, who invented their own language long ago. Today I will offer a glimpse inside that strange and wonderful linguistic world, culled from my very own experiences engaged in loquacious debate. I will use examples from Literary Agents and Editors, to give you an idea of how they use discourse.
Courses are now available on MediaBistro.
What Agent Says: "I'm not going to take that offer to my client."
What Agent Means: "You cheap ass motherf&*$%#, you're a gigantic media conglomerate, make me a real offer."
What Editor Says: "Let me run this up the flagpole and see how high I can go."
What Editor Means: "I know, down to the penny, how high I can go, but I want to make it seem like I'm important."
What Agent Says: "I have a good offer, but not enough to take it off the table."
What Agent Means: "I have $10,000."
What Editor Says: "This proposal really spoke to me."
What Editor Means: "I want to be this author's best friend, then take him home and name him George."
What Agent Says: "I have a strong mid five figure offer."
What Agent Means: "I have $25,000."
What Editor Says: "I really can't go any higher than this."
What Editor Means: "If I ask the publisher for one more penny, you're going to find me beaten to death in an alley with my throat slashed by a P&L sheet."
What Agent Says: "Let me know what you think of this idea..."
What Agent Means: "I haven't signed this client yet, but I want you do the work for me before I spend time and energy working with him/her."
What Editor Says: "I really believe deep down we're the best house for this..."
What Editor Means: "I can't offer another penny and it's time to test out my salesmanship..."
What Agent Says: "I'm not going to overagent this..."
What Agent Means: "I'm already overagenting this, but if I make ironic self evaluations you won't hate me as much."
What Editor Says: "I wasn't able to get enough traction in house to offer on this."
What Editor Means: "I didn't like it and didn't bother showing it to anyone else."
What Agent Says: "I want to know where you're at so I can plan my timetable for closing."
What Agent Means: "I want you to tell me you like it so I can tell other publishers I have interest and try to start a feeding frenzy."
What Editor Says: "We see this as a big book for us..."
What Editor Means: "...assuming people don't forget how much they liked it six months from now."
What Agent Says: "I have strong film interest. The studio involved rhymes with Garner Smothers."
What Agent Means: "I'm full of crap."
What Editor Says: "We're really hoping word of mouth will help this book."
What Editor Means: "We're not doing jack squat in terms of publicity, so the author had better have a big mailing list."
People in the media tend to speak very differently than everyone else. Especially people in publishing, who invented their own language long ago. Today I will offer a glimpse inside that strange and wonderful linguistic world, culled from my very own experiences engaged in loquacious debate. I will use examples from Literary Agents and Editors, to give you an idea of how they use discourse.
Courses are now available on MediaBistro.
What Agent Says: "I'm not going to take that offer to my client."
What Agent Means: "You cheap ass motherf&*$%#, you're a gigantic media conglomerate, make me a real offer."
What Editor Says: "Let me run this up the flagpole and see how high I can go."
What Editor Means: "I know, down to the penny, how high I can go, but I want to make it seem like I'm important."
What Agent Says: "I have a good offer, but not enough to take it off the table."
What Agent Means: "I have $10,000."
What Editor Says: "This proposal really spoke to me."
What Editor Means: "I want to be this author's best friend, then take him home and name him George."
What Agent Says: "I have a strong mid five figure offer."
What Agent Means: "I have $25,000."
What Editor Says: "I really can't go any higher than this."
What Editor Means: "If I ask the publisher for one more penny, you're going to find me beaten to death in an alley with my throat slashed by a P&L sheet."
What Agent Says: "Let me know what you think of this idea..."
What Agent Means: "I haven't signed this client yet, but I want you do the work for me before I spend time and energy working with him/her."
What Editor Says: "I really believe deep down we're the best house for this..."
What Editor Means: "I can't offer another penny and it's time to test out my salesmanship..."
What Agent Says: "I'm not going to overagent this..."
What Agent Means: "I'm already overagenting this, but if I make ironic self evaluations you won't hate me as much."
What Editor Says: "I wasn't able to get enough traction in house to offer on this."
What Editor Means: "I didn't like it and didn't bother showing it to anyone else."
What Agent Says: "I want to know where you're at so I can plan my timetable for closing."
What Agent Means: "I want you to tell me you like it so I can tell other publishers I have interest and try to start a feeding frenzy."
What Editor Says: "We see this as a big book for us..."
What Editor Means: "...assuming people don't forget how much they liked it six months from now."
What Agent Says: "I have strong film interest. The studio involved rhymes with Garner Smothers."
What Agent Means: "I'm full of crap."
What Editor Says: "We're really hoping word of mouth will help this book."
What Editor Means: "We're not doing jack squat in terms of publicity, so the author had better have a big mailing list."
posted by Jason Pinter at
9:14 AM
9 Comments:
Erm...What does "over agent" mean???
I hurt from laughing so hard.
LMAO! Oh, the truth is painful sometimes.
OMG! *chokes on her Coca-Cola* Aren't these the truth? Amen.
Too funny! Great insight for newbies like me.
The scary thing? The linguistics change, but the language remains the same no matter the industry.
Great insights. Nothing like calling a blunt shovel a spade.
Love it!
SBSR, I'm curious to know the editor behind the mask...can you reveal youself?
This is hilarious!
Will keep an eye out for my editor or agent using any of the above!!
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