Thursday, December 06, 2012

Things I'm Not Thankful For

Things I'm Not Thankful For

A popular holiday tradition is listing all the things you're thankful for. A less-popular holiday tradition is listing all the things you're not thankful for. So here is my list of things I could most certainly, and would prefer to, do without:

People Who 'Endorse' You On LinkedIn

Assistants Who Were Born in the 1990's

People Who Tweet 'Good Morning!' to Nobody in Particular

People Who Wear Soul Patches

People Who Take Half an Hour to Make Their Coffee at the Fixins Bar

Bartenders Who Act Like They Have Something Better to do Than Take Your Drink Order


The Black Eyed Peas

People Who Like Either Nickelback or The Black Eyed Peas

Boy Bands

People Who Love Boy Bands

People Who Use Umbrellas That Could Fit the Entire Population of Guam Underneath

People in the Office Who Have Loud Personal Conversations

Guys Who Are Dickheads

Girls Who Date Guys Who Are Dickheads Then Complain About How All Guys Are Dickheads

Awful, Soulless Childrens Movies That Cost $200 Million to Make and Seem Like They Were Brainstormed by Accountants Stuffed in an Airless Laboratory

People Who Complain About "Traditional Publishing"

People Who Self-Publish Their Novellas of 'Cat Erotica' then List Their Occupation as 'Author'

People Who Write Blog Posts Giving Relationship Advice to Celebrities

People Who Ask Celebrities for an RT Because it's Their Birthday

People Who Request Your Friendship on Facebook Then Immediately Post a Link to Their Website/Blog/Cat Erotica on Your Wall

People Who Post Pictures of their Nail Polish on Instagram

People Who Post Pictures of Their Cats on Instagram (sorry, I think cats are weird)

People Who Post Pictures of Their Feet at the Beach on Instagram


People Who Sigh and Say, "Oh, you know" When You Ask How They're Doing

People Who Still Don't Know the Difference Between 'Their' and 'They're'

People Who Say e-Readers Are Ruining Books

People Who Say Print is Dead

People Who Use FourSquare to Check into Starbucks

People Who Defend Chris Brown

Chris Brown

People Who Watch Anything Charlie Sheen Does

Charlie Sheen

Donald Trump

Donald Trump's Hair

People Who Still Refer to Bloggers As Living in Their Parents' Basements

People Whose Twitter Profiles Refer to Them as a 'Child-Wrangler'

People Who Refer to Themselves as a 'Social Media Guru'

Anyone Who Unironically Calls Themselves Any Kind of 'Guru' Unless Their Name is Guru

What are you not thankful for?


Blogger Unknown said...

haha...Love your list. :) Chris Brown is my number one thing I am not thankful for...He's a thug. :/ ice.

8:13 PM  

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